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Barely Passing
The struggle to dress cool for school
Jessica Krznaric
The Baltimore Jewish Times
November 13, 2008
After receiving a recent visit from my cousin, a high
school senior, it wasn’t news to me that she fell into
the pandemonium of teenage dressing. Her darkened eye
liner, low cut blouse, 4-inch heels and cigarette in
hand made her appear more like a joke than a soon to be
college student. The issue of inappropriate dress hasn’t
just spread throughout the halls of high schools but
also among junior high schoolers and preteens. Craving
thongs that read “Hot Stuff” on the rear, mirroring the
makeup styles of pop stars and dressing years beyond
their age is not brain surgery that the effects of the
media are playing a role in children’s clothing styles,
and their teachings of “sexiness equals popularity” are
being aced.
“Kids are taking in the hype before they really
understand what ‘being sexy’ means,” says psychologist
Susan Linn, Ed.D., cofounder of the Campaign for a
Commercial-Free Childhood and author of “Consuming
Kids,” but the media is not the only factor to blame.
The standard of what is appropriate has lowed immensely,
baring more than we want to see. Why?
“Adults are giving in,” says Borba. “Instead of trying
out a range of new things and building confidence that
way, kids are borrowing identities from celebrities.”
Focusing on the student, the teen years are a struggle
for one’s identity and self-expression, resulting in
hard times with difficult decisions. Statistics show
that 52 percent of teenagers feel pressure from
classmates to dress a certain way (Meredith Corporation,
2008).
Clothing becomes more than a representation of
personalities, but for many, a dire need to fit in.
Dressing too modestly brings the fears of not feeling
“cool,” appearing boring and unattractive, which to a
teenager feels like their world is ending. As
adolescents struggle for acceptance, it’s easier to
mimic the clothing styles of other students and
experience the satisfaction of fitting in.
Additionally, “the older the teen girl, the more
important dressing like her friends and matching them
is. From about fifth grade on, if you don’t have the
right clothes, you’re scorned. And for kids in this age
group, nothing is as important to psychological health
as having friends,” says Lisa Machoian, Ed.D., author of
“The Disappearing Girl.”
For one 16-year-old student, the pressures of fitting in
began when she was in the fourth grade where ribbons and
lip gloss were essentials if you wanted to be “cool.”
She went on to say, “[Starting around sixth grade,
though,] it took on a more sinister character. People
would start wearing really short skirts and lower tops
and putting on more makeup. There’s a strong pressure to
grow up at this point.”
One factor that every parent should understand is the
pressures of conformity and popularity presented by
today’s fashion trends in schooling, because chances are
your child does not recognize the misconceptions behind
their clothing choices.
“Don’t be surprised if your child doesn’t see the
connection between dressing provocatively. The latest
studies show that a teen’s brain is not developed enough
to understand the consequences of his actions until well
into [their] 20s,” says Elaine B. Kaplan, Ph.D.,
associate professor of sociology at the University of
Southern California, Los Angeles.
But as a parent, how do you respond?
Use the situation to your advantage by finding a way to
satisfy your child’s clothing desires. Duplicate the
styles of their favorite celebrities or musical artists.
Spend quality time together by going out shopping and
trying to emulate the look. Act open to your child’s
suggestions, not defensive. Open communication and
acceptance of their needs is the key in getting through
to your child.
It is also important to have deep discussions, inform
the child of the portrayal revealing clothing has, and
meet his or her friends to become aware of the social
scene your child is trying to fit into. Additionally,
acting as a strong role model, getting your child
involved in an outside activity, or educating them
through courses arouse positive thinking and responsible
decision-making.
Our 16-year-old student, who felt pressured to wear
ribbons in the fourth grade, now feels positive with her
self-image because of her mom, who she views as being
“very secure with herself and with being smart and being
a woman.”
She goes on to say, “Seeing a culture of degrading women
really influenced me to look at things in a new way and
to think how we as high school girls react to that. A
lot of girls still hold onto that media ideal. As I’ve
gotten more comfortable with myself and my body, I’m
happy not to be trashy,” she says.
Hopefully, other young teens make the clothing
connection and become trendsetters instead of the ones
following the trend. |
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